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Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Native American Love Story

In recent years, I have been badgered by numerous people to write a Native American Love Story. I am tired of explaining my reasons for not doing so. This shall be my last time explaining this; this shall be a rant, a tireless rant with possibly a challenge. If you believe I am wrong in the following assumptions, then prove it. Show me how wrong I truly am and I will sincerely apologize for the following.

I will not write a Native American love story. I will not write a Native American sob story; nor will I write Native Americans as villains, victims, or completely perfect naïve children before the white man came. I will not write a story about any of these things at this point in my life.

To clarify, I am not ashamed of my people, my culture, or even my family. On the contrary, I am proud of them.  I am proud of them for surviving this long, for remembering their history, remnants of their beliefs, language, and knowledge of their tribe. However, I am disappointed and angry with them.

I feel this way because they have allowed themselves to become drunks, obese, and drug addicts. They kill themselves through their various addictions and blame the white man for it. They sit and beg for handouts from the government because “that’s the least they owe us.” They are content with sitting and waiting for the next paycheck so they can pay for their various addictions. Then they ridicule the few of us that try to break the status quo. They call them “Apples”; red on the outside and white on the inside.  

Yes, I will admit that in the past the whites helped us on our path to self-destruction, but nobody ever said we had to stay on this path. Our ancestors fought and begged to be treated as equals; we now have this opportunity now. Our ancestors have fought to be considered human, to be considered American citizens. We have this but we are content to stay on our reservations, to keep accepting our handouts, to not strive for more. Nobody said we had to stay in our current status.

So no, I will not write a Native American love story until we prove our current generation more than worthy of remembrance. I will not write a Native American sob story, until we gain some form of pride in who our ancestors were and prove ourselves worthy of their sacrifices.

It is beyond time to start to move on from our defeat. It is time to start planning for the future and save our culture for future generations, so that we don’t lose every bit of our culture from our ancestors. We should remember the past and prepare for a better future. 

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Gary Oldman, Society, and Hard Truths (another social rant)

So I am currently reading the Playboy interview with Gary Oldman, simply to see what has everybody all in an uproar. Of course to be honest I should be working, but today is slow and almost meaningless professionally that is. I must say that Oldman has a definite perspective on society today and I find that refreshing in an actor I truly admire. To be honest, I am failing to see what has everyone upset, except for the fact that he has called out Hollywood, no wait make that Society on their lies and the idiocy that is known as Political Correctness.

Readers, I tire of dealing with moronic hypocrites getting upset about someone saying some racist comment or joke. I have heard many of my friends and loved ones make terrible jokes and jabs at whole groups, I've even overheard complete strangers doing the same and then criticizing others for doing the exact same thing.

So why are we upset with Gary Oldman? Is it because he is publicly saying the things that we clearly think about over and over? Is that it? It doesn't matter if we say the same things, AS LONG AS WE DO IT IN PRIVATE? Hmm well I must say in my own humble opinion, that is a load of shit. Think about the NBA team owner who got in trouble for being a "racist" in his own home, he was in the privacy of his home and society  got mad at him and tried to find a way to get him in trouble legally for something that was racist. Is that fair? Does that make it right?

I was taught that honesty is the best policy, I was also taught that honesty is the best weapon, because as long as you are upfront about your flaws then nobody can call you out on your bullshit. So let's be honest for once: How do feel about the blacks , ahem, African Americans, crying out racism when they get in trouble for something? Or when they get killed for their stupidity? What about those welfare moms popping a kid every chance they get and then crying out because they can't afford to take care of them? How do you feel about illegal immigrants getting free healthcare when they don't even contribute to the taxes? How do you feel about a child hitting their mother in public and all she does is just say "stop that"?

I am sure that there many more small injustices in the world that piss many people off, I just hope that one day people will start to take a page out Oldman's book and be extremely forthright with their opinions. I wonder what a truly honest world would look like? Oh well probably won't ever happen because people must play their stupid games for their own personal agendas.

I am sure that one day this post will be haunting me in the future, I am not sure how but I believe it will happen because I am speaking a dark truth. Honestly, I am somewhat afraid to see what the fallout will be, but also I am extremely excited because it means that it got people speaking. I am sure that many people will assume that they know who I am by this post alone. Let's get a few things straight about me: As of this post I am not even 30 years old, I live in the Midwest of the USA, I am homosexual, and I am Native American, or whatever nomenclature you prefer to call my race, I am Christian, specifically Baptist, oh yes and I am extremely financially broke these days.

Until Next Time Dear Readers....

Oh and P.S. I now give you permission to judge me harshly, and also invite your friends to judge me, share this post so that they can have a proper chance to judge me as well.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Life Stock

It is fall, kids have gone back to school, Halloween is just around the corner, and more birthdays have passed by. I guess that means it is time for a bit of self-reflection. I am 26 years old and I am feeling that is time for me to take stock of my life so far. It seems like that I am just going down a checklist of things I should have accomplished by this point. Graduate High School? Check. Graduate College? I have an Associates Degree, so sort of? A career? Not so much. Marriage? A long term relationship which is going on five and a half years, so I'll considered that checked. Kids? Nope, and not until I am at least 30.

I don't believe that I have accomplished much in my life so far. It also doesn't help that I still feel like that I still should be 16. Am I having trouble growing up? Maybe, but I believe everyone does. I keep thinking that this will be the year that I will change things around, I will grow up, take my life and career more seriously and not try to sabotage myself with silly little distractions. But as the year passes on, and these distractions turn out to be things like car troubles, financial troubles, school work, friends and family drama, relationship issues, and then those real distractions of Facebook, Fanfiction (Yes I still read fanfiction.), TV shows, and games. Yet despite it all, I keep asking myself where did the time go and why haven't I finished that great novel that will make me a successful writer? Also, the silent question: Are my friends more mature than I am? Maybe they are, maybe I haven't matured as much as I should have.

An interesting thing to note is that to be quite honest I was a very depressed teenager, I never thought I would make it to my high school graduation, so having made it this far was never really a real possibility for me. It was just a passing dream and now that I have, I don't know what to do next. I can play and act like I know what the next move is but honestly, I feel like I am at least two steps behind everyone else.  What to do next?

I thought if I ever made it this far I would have gone on The Great American Road Trip with my best friend, wrote at least one novel, be a healthy weight, and be living on my own with one paid off car. Instead, I have made it as far as Nebraska from Oklahoma, the coolest place I've been to is Denver, I have actually gained almost 100 lbs. since my high school graduation, I have entered only one writing contest, and I am living with my boyfriend never actually have lived on my own yet.

Although I have paid off two car loans, but I am now car-less again. I have traveled to several different states and seen different places. I attended the AWP conference in Denver a couple of years ago, would really love to go again. I also have obtained a college degree of sorts and almost finished with my Bachelor's. My writing career has stalled to halt, but strangely I believe that my marketing career is steadily growing, although considering the reality of my situation probably not. I don't know what it is I am doing.

I have figured out that despite it all, I am surprisingly low on my financial debt, one thing from a cable company I just found out about and my student loans that I expect to be around $20k by the time I graduate with my Bachelor's. So all in all, not too bad. So I figure my next step is to finish up school and get my marketing degree, make my last fun purchase the last thing I'll buy for myself until my debt is cleared and then who knows from there. Maybe I'll buy a yacht, kidding.

So maybe I am not doing so bad. Maybe I am actually doing okay. Although I really need to get a handle on my weight, breezing through the 300's and into the 400 range is not doing me any favors. Also with the 10 year high school reunion coming up in a couple of years that would be embarrassing to show up a lot bigger than when I left. Oh well, maybe a topic for the next blog: Life in the Fat Lane.

Although a question does keep coming back to me. Does anyone ever truly figure out where they are going next? Also does anyone ever feel like that they have grown up or that they have figured out the grand plan for themselves? I am actually curious about this. So if anyone wants to answer this, go ahead I'll probably respond in some form or another.

Thanks for indulging in my self reflection.

Until next time Dear Reader

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Racial Equality: Fact or Fiction?

So apparently, it's  been 50 years since the famous "I Have A Dream" speech. Wow, I am really surprised that it has only been 50 years. I obviously wasn't alive during this time so it is probably reasonable that it would seem longer to me. I caught a glimpse of a news story, where according to a poll done by Fox News most Americans feel that we haven't reached true racial equality.

As a Native American (American Indian, for you more politically correct folks), this had me thinking, is racial equality what we really hope for? Or Do we (as Non-Caucasians) want racial superiority over the "white" folk? Do we want to make them pay for their racial crimes against us as a whole? Are we starving for vengeance against the white race as a whole? Ignoring the fact that those that perpetrated those crimes are long dead, or soon will be. Ignoring the fact that most of us were not even alive for the majority of those crimes and our own failings are our own fault.

I am not a racial activist.  I am not too concerned about my rights as a Native American because I don't feel that is my fight to fight. The other reason is this: African-American, Asian-American, Native American, the common title in those labels is American. Who the frak cares where our ancestors came from? Who cares about how our ancestors were mistreated? WE ARE STILL HERE! We are alive, our predecessors have shown just how strong we are by making sure we have survived this long. It is up to us to move on from past hurts and tragedies and accept the hand we are dealt with and play it with the best of our ability. We must prove that we are worthy of the title American, forget the color of our skin, remember our ancestry, our history, but we cannot allow it to separate us even further.

I am seeing a disturbing trend among the loudest of the Non-White culture. (I am tempted to say "Colored" but refrain due to negative connotations that are associated with that.) Because of this trend I am also seeing a related trend of silence from the White culture. This trend is to cry out "RACIST" whenever something does not go in a way that is favorable to their position. We are becoming that which our ancestors were ashamed of. Society is changing the roles of the players in the whole discrimination game.

Whites are ashamed to celebrate the accomplishments of their ancestors, but we are encouraged to do so. Should we become so proud of becoming the oppressors instead of the oppressed? All White scholarships are considered to be racist, while all Black or all Native American  are considered fine and dandy. Is there fair and justice in this?

"But what about what the white man did to us?!" some of you may cry out. Fine, yes they were horrible to our ancestors. I am not saying what they did was right or fair, but does that give us the right to continue on this way? Should we be given the latitude to judge these people based on what their ancestors did?

If we are to judge and exact revenge for what some people's ancestors did, then why don't we first to look to our own ancestors to see what we are guilty of. How many people did your ancestors murder or oppress? How many people did your ancestors rape or beat? After all, if we are to judge one group for what their ancestors are guilty of, and then call it fair, let's not forget our own ancestors and figure out how many crimes against humanity our ancestors are guilty of.

It is time to move on. It is time to grow up and grow past these hurts. It is time to let go of that anger otherwise, all we will end up doing is creating another race of oppressors. If you want to continue this cycle of oppression, then ask yourself this: Who do you want to be oppressed by now? The Blacks and their collective loud outcry too drown out our objections, the Asians with their collective intellect  to make us feel stupid while they oppress us, or even my own people the Native Americans, who seem to have no qualms about using every weapon they can find to utilize new ways of oppression, or shall we continue having the Whites oppress us, continue on with tradition as it were.

Racial discrimination is there, but now it is us that are perpetrating this heinous crime. Should we continue this cycle with false declaration of "racial equality" or should we allow true racial equality to reign by forgetting the color of our skin?

Until next time dear Reader.

Friday, November 2, 2012


Guess what, boys and girls? It is time for the mudslinging and reputation damaging ritual that we get watch and take part in once every four years, and no I wasn't talking about the Summer Olympics (by the way if you're still waiting on those, you missed them by a few months, look at old news posts for the highlights, I wasn't keeping track honestly) what I was talking about is election. I am sure by now that most of you are tired of everyone and their neighbor's dog/cat/bird/goldfish all citing their "expert" political opinions and of course the obligatory rants and name calling. I do want to get this off my chest though. Let me get something out of the way of what looks to be another political blog, I don't like President Obama, I didn't vote for him and I won't vote for him this time either; I also have very little faith in candidate Romney. I may even vote Independent this year, but I haven't paid much attention to the election this year so I'm not sure.

Let's be honest about something though, when the next president is elected and this whole thing is out of the way, very few of us are going to pay attention to what he is doing in the White House. We don't care what our elected officials do in office until election time comes, then we get mad when it comes out that they did something that we don't like. We cry and yell and decide to vote them out of office, but face it, if election didn't come around with televised ads how many of us would actually notice? If you want to vote, go ahead, if you're a legal citizen of this country, then you have the right to vote. However, try to be as informed as possible and pay attention to what it going on in the intervening years, we lose a lot of rights because we don't pay attention.

Now for the next mini-political rant. It is my personal belief that this two party system isn't working anymore. We have Democrats on one side demanding more progress, more change, and we have Republicans demanding more traditional, conservative values. Now here's what I've figured out, change for change's sake is a bad thing. Because if we just keep changing things without regard to how well it works then we are going to ruin our country because we will eventually start changing the good things without thinking of the consequences. Another thing I have figured out is sticking to the same thing over and over simply for tradition's  sake is also bad because it leads to stagnation and eventually death.

So my proposal is this: We should have a third main party, one that is the voice of moderation. One that looks at the issue presented and evaluates it without regard to how the "Party" feels. A party that says, "Some change is good, some tradition is good, let's find the best of both worlds." The problem with trying to make this a reality is that the media only gives us either Democratic or Republican point of view and the other parties in our government are just left out in the cold.  We should be able to have more options than just the "Traditionalists" and the "Progressives". To be quite frank about the two-system, both parties are leaning more towards the extremist side of their beliefs, I don't remember ever seeing the parties this far apart and so argumentative with each other. So I say let's bring in a third party, one who will moderate the other two parties and bring out the best in each other.

To close these rants out, I need to tell you that these are my inexpert opinions. I am not a political analyst, nor am I a Republican or Democrat. I don't know who I am going to vote for, but I am sure it's not going to President Obama. Finally, if you would like me to discuss a topic for this blog, send it to me. I'll do my research and give my inexpert opinion. So until next time dear readers, Sayonara!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter!

So today is Easter Sunday, I hope everyone is doing great and having a great day whether or not you celebrate Easter. If you're curious about me, well, I am at home playing on my computer contemplating on the past Easters.
Easter with my family was practically a second Christmas, not necessarily the "right" way to celebrate Easter, but we had fun.  Understand that my family wasn't overly religious, my mother always believed that we should find our own paths to faith, she didn't want to "shove her beliefs down our throats," for which I am thankful for. Otherwise, I'm not sure I would have the same strength of faith that I do now.
During the Easter holiday with my family, we spent time with our extended family, coloring the eggs (which I always thought smelt bad), and did the Easter Egg hunt, which I loved as kid. My mom made the baskets sometime the week before Easter with all kinds of gifts for my sisters, cousin, and myself. It was normally a fun time for my family. Of course, I could be  remembering things with more happy overtones than they actually were, the strange effects of memory.
As this Easter passes by, I realize I miss my family in Oklahoma. I also am thinking of what I might do with my future kids, if I have any. Start new traditions, or possibly continue the old ones? Only time will tell what happens as I grow older. My only advice to you as this Sunday passes by, whether or not you celebrate Easter, is spend time with your family, or if that's not possible cherish your time with them, you never know what may happen. So Happy Easter Everyone! Have a good one!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Traits of a Successful Leader and a Bit of Self-Analysis

There are many traits that can make a leader successful in business and life. People may disagree as to which of those are the most important. The traits that follow are the ones that I personally believe are the most successful. Starting from the most important, I believe that imagination, fiscally responsible, communication, hardworking, motivating, commitment, the ability to adapt, and last but not least having a sense of humor are the most important traits a successful leader has.

A leader needs to have imagination. Imagination is important because it brings about more creative ideas and solutions to the table. A leader who is imaginative is also more likely to be more open-minded about solutions that brought forth to them no matter the source. Walt Disney is a good example of a business leader who was very imaginative. I believe that being imaginative is innate but it has to be encouraged otherwise some people lose it.

The second most important trait in my opinion the ability to be fiscally responsible (Zhivago), you can have as many ideas as you want but if you spend too much you put yourself too far into debt and aren’t able to recover, but on the flip side if you spend too little, you aren’t able to be as productive as you should be. An example of the latter is that the business I’m working for, at one point in their history, they under-capitalized themselves so much that they nearly couldn’t provide the supplies needed to produce the product, as well as market themselves properly, and pay the wages needed. Being fiscally smart is a trait that can be acquired, it may take a few tries, but as long as you learn from your mistakes you should be able to become fiscally smart.

The ability to communicate clearly in all of its aspects is very important skill. If you are able to communicate your intentions clearly, your subordinates will be able to do their job better. After all, you can’t blame them for a failure if you didn’t clearly explain what you required. If you came up with a plan with your imagination, and was able to scale it back to something you could afford without sacrificing quality, you’re most likely going to need help implementing your plan and you’ll need to be able to communicate your needs to other people in order to follow through on your idea successfully. I believe that while there are people who are “naturals” in various forms of communication, it is for the most part a trait that is acquired.

Leaders need to be willing to work hard, if they aren’t afraid of hard work and show it their subordinates are more willing to follow them. Sam Walton worked hard managing his stores that eventually became the empire known as Wal-Mart. Leaders will show others that they are willing to work the menial jobs if they have to and that they will go above the bare minimum in order to succeed. This trait effects many other traits and is usually what makes a success. In my experience, this trait tends to be acquired through life experiences.

You need to be motivated and be able to motivate others (Nickels, McHugh and McHugh). The founders of Google encourage their employees to work on their own projects once a week and sometimes use the results of the projects if they are deemed worthy and credit the employee with the success (Nickels, McHugh and McHugh).If you are able to motivate yourself into becoming a success then you can motivate others to work and help them enjoy their work then you are doing a good job and are able to succeed. The ability to be motivating seems to be an innate trait in my experience.      

Another trait that is important in my eyes is that a leader needs to be committed (Santana). A leader who is committed to the organization, plan, etc. will be there to see it succeed. They won’t give up when things start to get hard. If it looks like that a current path isn’t working, then a committed leader will find a new way to accomplish the goal. This is a trait that is innate, especially in those that have sacrificed heavily for a project or organization.

Another trait that is important is the ability to adapt or be flexible (Barnstein). When conditions change unexpectedly, leaders need to be able to act accordingly. When leaders adapt to a rapid change in their conditions, success is usually rated by how fast they can change with the times. For examples, look at the business leaders who have had to go through the most recent recession. Yes, they may be a little worse off but the fact that they are still around shows their flexibility. This is another trait that I believe can be acquired as well as innate.

Finally the last trait I believe a leader needs is a sense of humor (Zhivago). A sense of humor can go a long way to endearing yourself to your subordinates. This shows that you can have a fun time as well show that you take the business seriously. The CEO of Southwest Airlines asks his employees to suggest a costume for the company’s Halloween parties, which proves to have some very interesting results (Nickels, McHugh and McHugh). The more fun that your subordinates have with you up to a certain point, the more willing they are to work harder for you, because it helps them like you more. A sense of humor is innate, but there are many types of humor that sometimes what one person finds funny, others do not.

Honestly, I believe that I have a few of these traits. I need to work on being more self-motivating before I can try to motivate others and I would like to be more fiscally responsible. Otherwise, I believe I have the other traits to some degree. Will I be successful? I honestly think that at this point in my life it is sort of a fifty-fifty chance that I will be, but I am taking that as personal challenge. So I definitely hope that I don’t myself down in the future, but only Time will tell.

Works Cited
Barnstein, Brenda. Top 10 Ways to be a Successful Leader. 5 Nov 2011. 6 March 2012. <>.
Nickels, Bill, Jim McHugh and Susan McHugh. Understanding Business Ninth Edition. New York: McGraw-Hill Irwin, 2010. Book.
Santana, Gayle E. Commitment to the Journey: Top 10 ways to be Successful in both Business and Life. n.d. 5 March 2012. <>.
Zhivago, Kristin. Top 10 Characteristics of an Effective Leader. 24 January 2010. 7 March 2012. <>.